Mother's Day: The Greek Mother Stereotype

Happy Friday! Christos Anesti, and Kalo Pascha to all who celebrated last weekend. The busy weekends continue on, as this Sunday marks Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mothers, you can never be grateful enough for what a mother does for you, but Sunday is the day to go over the top with thanks. This week, I have a satirical blog written about the Greek mother. Many of the readers have experienced growing up in a Greek household, and while not all of these stereotypes may be relevant to you, they are stereotypes for a good reason. 

As a child growing up in a Greek household, you will never be hungry...and I mean NEVER. Greek moms cook as though they are competing in Gordon Ramsay's "Hell's Kitchen" every evening. If you are not hungry, it doesn't matter, because you are still going to eat...and eat and eat and eat. A mistake that I have made before is telling my mother that her pastichio wasn't as good as another which I had. Saying this is worse than telling a Greek mother that you want to drop out of school and become jobless for the rest of your life. Never insult the cooking of a Greek mom. Another situation you might find yourself in as a child is the ostracization you may experience at the lunch table. Other kids may open their lunch boxes and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches coupled with a bag of chips and some fruit. A Greek mother will send her child to school with a portion of Moussaka and a slice of galaktoboureko. This is by no means a complaint, but as a seven year old trying to explain what he is eating to other seven year olds, it is not easy.

The Greek mother also wants to plan out your entire future. You could be six years old attending your first Greek school class, and your mother will drop you off and begin scanning the room for your future husband/wife. They will take you to coffee hour to speak to any member of the Greek church within ten years of your age with hopes of a future engagement. The Greek mother believes that if her child is not married by the time they reach twenty-seven years of age, they have failed and they will never have grandbabies. They will tell you to work hard in school to get into good colleges, only to beg you to stay within a drivable commute, so they can take you food every weekend. Greek mothers also want control of the other parts of your life too. Do you want to play football? Too dangerous. What about soccer? Ok, but not on certain nights, because you have Greek school and dance. Does your school need extra volunteers for a class? Best believe that your Greek mom will be the first one to sign up, and she'll probably bring a tray of baklava for the class to enjoy (while completely ignoring that some kids may have nut allergies). 

The one thing that Greek mothers are absolutely famous for is talking about their children. When a normal mom meets your new friends and their parents, she might share a story revealing your proudest moments or greatest accomplishments. When a Greek mom meets your new friends and their parents, she will definitely tell stories of your most embarrassing and mortifying moments, because she thinks that it’s the greatest way to show her love for you. Myself and my cousins have been witness to this. My mother is the oldest of three girls, and all three of them are now Greek mothers. When we all get together, it is like a competition of who can say the most demeaning things about their own children...then they will swear to us that it is out of love. Honestly, witnessing this is almost comedic for us as kids. 

I want to share a few last cliché scenarios to close out this week's blog.

A normal mom will say, “Say cheese!” before she takes a picture of you and your friends.
A Greek mom will say, “Say feta cheese!” before she takes a picture of you and your friends.

A normal mom will have a picture of you with Mickey Mouse at Disney World on your refrigerator from your last family vacation as a kid.
A Greek mom will have a picture of you on a donkey in the middle of the horio (village) on the refrigerator from your last family vacation there as a kid.

A normal mom doesn’t even bother planning a family vacation once you have hit your early twenties.
A Greek mom will expect you to join the family vacation she plans every summer, even when you are thirty. Which, by the way, will be to Greece to visit relatives where you will have to sit at someone’s kitchen table, drinking coffee for hours on end every day, instead of going to the beach, seeing the sights, or going to the parties.

As much as I enjoyed jabbing at the Greek mother stereotype while writing this blog, it is all in jest. I honestly consider myself to be so lucky to have grown up with such an amazing mother. Thank you mom, I love you. And to all the Greek mothers reading this, you too are loved. I hope everyone has a wonderful Mother's Day, enjoy your weekend!